Sarchasm... It should be my nickname.
2004-03-30

I just want to shoot myself today. And not even in the pseudo suicidal way, just in that “everyone around me is an idiot” way. Just kill off the halfway intelligent people so that the dumb ones can reproduce and the rest of us can start our own colony in the afterlife. I wonder, do we reincarnate or do we sit around in some posh cloudy heaven and remember what we used to be like? Are there social classes in heaven? Would God really let stupid people in? I want St. Peter’s job, only here on earth. I want to be the one to judge whether or not you are deemed worthy to be on the same planet as the rest of us. The fucking idiots I am surrounded by amaze me DAILY with the INANE shit they come up with. I spend most of my time with my jaw hanging incredulously and tears wanting to stream down my face for the sheer frustration of it all. I often think that I don’t have enough friends, but I am realizing that there just aren’t enough people out there who can add and read and walk and chew gum at the same time. I wonder if maybe I should go to the bar tonight.

Even that could be a bad idea in a world like this one.

Stupidity is a disease, an infestation, and I am afraid of becoming infected with the parasitic assness of it all.

It should be illegal.

Deep breath…

I got an email today from Yahoo! Personals and for shits and giggles I looked at it to see what kind of redneck wanted to take me to a Nascar race this month. I haven’t checked my matches in ages right, so god knows how long these guys have been there. Lo and behold, towards the end there sits…. my brother in law. I almost shit the bed. I laughed so hard I almost spit my water all over the monitor. So I forwarded it to my sister. He is either trying to be funny, he did this ages ago, or he’s retarded. I choose retarded. God knows what she will choose. I wonder when he did this. I thought about emailing him back with all this “Hey Baby’ bullshit, but I forgot his addy.

Oh, and if you are white, don’t try to make Creole chicken. It just doesn’t end up tasting right. I had beans, corn and mashed potatoes last night due to my ultimate failure as a cook. It was sad.

Although I noticed I can make gravy out of anything…

That is why I am the gravy goddess!

Ok, that’s enough for D-land for today, I have a LiveJournal that could use some updating.

~B.e.D.

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