I really do not want to go to WW tonight. I know I should and I know that I probably most likely gained weight after the week that I had, and being on the MONTHLY, but I still can't seem to mentally prepare myself for the shame that will be placed upon me by my peers and leaders. That whole "building a better you" thing they got going on. I don't want a better me, I like myself, but I wouldn't mind a different me. That would be keen. I dunno, I guess I just think they have some type of mental blackmail going on over us. The lack of 44 dollars a month that I could be spending on CIGARETTES creates the mind meld and then I step on the scale to be JUDGED and I wait in breathless anticipation while they tut and click and then tell me if I was a good puppy or a bad kitty. Last week, good puppy... 3.2 lbs. good puppy, this week I am thinking my nose is getting rubbed in it.
I just really want for Fran and Kath to quit so that I can do the diet at home and not have to worry about the pinched brows on the skinny faces of the ones who came before us. Then again, maybe that is what makes me lose the weight. I have noticed that the weeks I just showed up to weigh and then skipped the heartfelt talk were bad weeks. Well at least I think so, I won't know until tonight. I wouldn't be surprised.
Ok, so I gained weight. I am not going to die, they are not going to kick me out. I did well all the weeks except for two weeks ago and tonight. I obviously am simply proving that I am human.
Of course, justifying the fact that I have no self control to a diary in no less that a million words is also proof that I am human.
I hate it.
I am freaking out over this for no reason.
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