Jeff won’t let me get a dog. Something about responsibility. I think he is just being a poohead.
Wanted to kill him last night though for about 10 seconds. We were sitting and talking and he is telling me about how he wants to save a couple thousand dollars to buy an old junker diesel so that he use that to go to work. He works a little over an hour away from Wilmington in Elizabethtown. And just for a moment there I thought, ya know, a couple thousand dollars would buy me a ring. A NICE ring, the ring I really want but know I won’t be getting. The platinum one carat type of ring, and so I was miffed, but I got over it soon enough. I have this desperate panic that everything needs to happen sooner, due to the life’s plan I had made for myself. I wanted to be married by 27 and have kids by 30, and here I am 27 and still single. I am not sure why I want to do things so quickly. Women can safely have kids until they are like 37 or so, I guess I do have like 10 more years… so why am I even worried about it? Why am I babbling about it? I guess having not finished college I think I should be good for something else and I am not sure what else that would be other than that. I have had this constant feeling of total constipation for so long. I kinda hope I am really preggers this time. At least then I could get over this smoking hump.
Speaking of which, I am down to 4 or 5 smokes a day and I can NOT get over it. I smoke ultra lights and might as well be smoking air, but I just can’t seem to go to work without having a cigarette… Everyone is like, “Just stop!” but I really can’t for some reason. It’s that first one in the morning. I love it. It tastes good in a strange way. I keep thinking that I should be allowed one vice, just one little bad habit that helps me not think about the rest of the bad habits I have had in my life… but no. I keep getting shit about it. And it’s even worse lately for some reason. I guess people would assume that I would quite with the new year. Here it has been 3 months at 5 smokes a day, sometimes none and sometimes a lot more (being at the bar or my parent’s house) and I still get crap for it.
At least I am not a raging crystal meth fiend anymore right?
Christ…
So anyone want to hear about some FUCKED up dreams?
Too late: So I dreamt last night that Jeff and I were going to get married later in the afternoon and we still had some things to take care of, like location and someone to do it and dress and rings and basically everything.. So mom and I go to Toys R Us to find little dress up veils and stuff like that for the bridesmaids and as I am going through them Rick walks up with Jamohn. Only Rick has cut his hair and I don’t recognize Jamohn as Jamohn. So I tell them about the wedding later on and they say they want to come and I get Rick’s number and take off. But later on I need to go to the grocery store to buy food for the reception and as I am walking out the door Rick and Jamohn call and want to see if I want to go to the store with them. Which I think is a bonus. Kill two birds with one stone kinda thing, so off we go and we play in the store and end up going back to Rick’s to party one last time. This is like my impromptu bachelorette party. We start shooting back the tequilas and the next thing I know it’s the next morning and Jeff is out front honking the horn in the Subaru and trying to yell at me to get my ass moving. I had to crawl out the door of Rick’s house. I wasn’t in trouble though. It was very strange. So I decided to wake up at that point.
WTF???
I am so confused, and Rick looked really bad with short hair. I think it was his potato head that did it.
Man I am going to get into trouble today. I can feel it. Not that that is any different than any other day I guess… ;)
Quiz time!!!
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What Type of Lunatic are You? (With Cool Pics!!)
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