I seemed to think of some of the strangest things when I feel like this. I relished the feel of the fiberglass top of Littlefoot under my fingertips as I lay on a sleeping bag in the back. I remember shivering with a good beer in front of a Bistro with bad music and worst artists. Things like this flood back to me at the oddest times. How leather reacts in SF and the smell of it that you never notice unless you are in SF. Wind blowing hair out of your face and tears freezing on your cheeks as we all huddled outside RIck's mom's house trying to smoke weed with people like Dan and Drew. The constant hanging out with people we only really liked for about 5 minutes out of the day but managed to be decent around for the longest time. I remember a bitch cat who tried to eat me, a mexican rat who loved Taco Bell and a huge crooked tail cat that made me feel so damned loved it was probably unhealthy. Now I have a fat cat and a psycho kitten. I also took a moment and thought about other places and random situations. Snowwomen with the nicest boobs you ever saw... 8 people on mushrooms tripping around Josh's house, I remember laughing until I cried over the stupidest shit. Yet even now.... I still wonder... when was I happy? Jeff told me tonight that I always seem to have a touch of the melancholy... He also told me I was a brat. It seems like he may be right. eh... I just never know which way to turn it seems. The earth will end the day I finally make up my mind. A ticker tape parade... 75 fucking trombones, or something like it...
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sick... with some added blech...
2003-10-30
Ah the inevitable homesickness has struck. Thoought I could forget the things I dared to reminisce about last nihgt, but alas, these thing just lie dormant waiting for you to be all alone while the one you love is away at work and obviously not calling that night. I lie in bed last night and thought about driving to Panther Rock when it was rainy and misty and cloudy and just how green the trees could be in all that gray. I thought about parking a little silver sports car in the sand and standing to face the Pacific with the reckless abandon of someone with way too much free time and not enough freedom. I remembered suddenly how good Mexican food in a slightly urine smelling restaurant is the best thing in the world after building forts out of driftwood all day or meticulously scratching mandalas into the most fragile sand you ever saw in the rain. I remember the last left turn before you hit the Pacific Cost highway... The Safeway across the street to the right and the Walgreens thing directly to the right and the seafood restaurants to the left. I remember lazer tag in the woods, in the day and in the dark. I remember Taco Bell at 3 am. I remember movies at the 25 cent and free drinks from a very cute younger man I should maybe have got to know a little more than as "the pygmie". I remember that laughter between three girls that could never be best friends with each other, but tried their damndest for the sake of the other two. I remembered, and I cried for a brief moment.